Lord Is It I?

Scripture Readings: Mark 14:17-19 and
1 Corinthians 11:28

The famous painting of Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper will perhaps remain the hallmark of Christendom paintings. The fictional garbage of Dan Brown will not be referenced here. Of course we have all heard the statements of how inaccurate the setting is (I am not sure what good that ever did) but the pictorial message da Vinci was portraying is one that is seldom talked about in sermons or lectures.

The most typical assumption of this painted scene is one in which Jesus has said, "do this in remembrance of Me." However that is not the moment of the meal for which the painting is struck If you examine the painting we see a lot going on, but the snapshot is of the reaction to Jesus statement, "One of you will betray Me." Three things are going on. First, the disciples looked stunned. Second they begin to ask each other and the Lord, "who will betray You?" Lastly, the Apostle John is seen close to Jesus secretly inquiring the answer to the same question. It is the pivotal moment in the meal. After that, Christ would give the most important lesson on servanthood. Most certainly this lesson is and should be the most emphasized, but what about the former moments of revealing the traitor? Judas Iscariot was controlled by Satan to carry out the deed of betrayal, but the disciples didn't know that. So they each began to examine their own hearts and motives. In connection with remembering the Last Supper, the Apostle Paul challenged us to examine ourselves as well. This process of examination we'll look at is not only beneficial but necessary for the Christian is our day to day lives.

I don't believe that any of us are in danger or want of betraying Christ as Judas did, however we do betray His plans for us and His vision for us when we sin. Something to note before going any further is that the betrayal even of Iscariot was not a sin that couldn't be forgiven. Just this morning I was thinking about the Gethsemane betrayal and remembering how Jesus addressed Judas as "friend" just before He was betrayed by him. I personally think not only could Judas have been forgiven of this act of betrayal, but that night Judas was heavily on the grieving heart of the Master. Such are we on the heart of the Lord as we sin against Him. So when we sin against Christ, we should instantly stop and examine what has been done and the space put between us and Christ as the result. Examining ourselves is the best way and the first step towards restored fellowship with the Savior. Here are some areas which this process is achieved.

First, Self Examination must be an inward desire to be most effective. The mark of the true follower of Christ is to put sin far away from them. One preacher put it this way, "we need to keep a short account with God." None of us like to go to a doctor. But when we do go it is out of need, but how much better it would be to go out of desire for prevention of a disease. Likewise we must constantly desire within us to examine ourselves to see if there be any wickedness that cuts off our fellowship with Christ. Christ is our lifeline just as is our mortal blood to our body. We do not desire bodily disease, therefore in the same manner we should not desire the encroachment of sin in our souls. However, if we shy away from looking inwardly, or, if we put it off for a more "convenient" time which never comes, we allow the spread of sin to run unchecked working its discord. It is true that one of man's superior talents is to pick out sin in someone else's life, but unless we see it for ourselves in our own life, we fail harshly in our purpose to glorify God while we bear an unsightly mark of unconfesed sin. Therefore, to invite self examination is to desire Christ's person and witness in the life of a believer to be first place above all else. May it be true of us.

Second, Self Examination must be willing to truly admit what it finds. Denial is one of man's voluntary natural reactions. When found out of some wrong doing, the first reaction is to deny out of shame or perhaps protection of one's "character." Sin is a reproach to anyone, believer or unbeliever. Yet just because a sin is not admitted to exist in a person, changes nothing. John tells us in his first epistle, that if we say we have no sin we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us 1 John 1:8. Even though we commit a sin, we would rather put it out of our minds than deal with it. We don't like the looks of sin nor do we like the thought of us behaving shamefully. The truth is we cannot mask off parts of our lives from the eyes of God. So, we must admit our faults before Him. Notice that in confession of sin we are not bringing to God something that He is not aware of, we are simply agreeing with His Holy character that the sin does not belong. Also in true confession we cannot sugar coat or dress up our sin. For example, (none of this is intended to be critical) a person who is in the sin of adultery, we would rather call it an "affair." Another example is one who is caught up in stealing or vandalization, we wink at it and call it "mischief." One more example is one who cheats either a person or the government, we giggle and smile as we justify ourselves. God however neither giggles nor smiles. Sin must be dealt with straight on for what it truly is, not what we want it to be. Sin must be seen as an offense to God and something that needs immediate attention. We must be willing to admit we messed up, we are to blame, we are at fault, we need forgiveness.

Third, Self Examination must be willing to submit to the only treatment.
Once we have discovered the wrong in our lives we cannot falter on its remedy. We are so use to getting by with doing things half way. We want to make an end run around the situation without having to face up to the consequences. Naturally on the inside, we do not want to face up to God's holiness. The flesh has a tender nerve to it. That nerve doesn't want to submit itself to the forgiveness of Christ. The reason is that the flesh always wants to be first. It cannot stand it when we make ourselves lowly. When we ask Christ to forgive us our trespasses, we are lowering our position to depths of truth, but not necessarily of glamour and enjoyment. The only working prescribed treatment for a cavity in a tooth is to have it drilled out. Deliverance from its effects cannot be had any other way no matter how much we desire otherwise. Such it is in the spirit of man when we sin. Fortunately, the treatment of Christ's forgiveness is less painful than any medical procedure! But is greater seriousness, this matter of humbling ourselves is why Jesus said that there are few who find the narrow road which leads to eternal life.

Lastly, Self Examination is not something set aside for just a special occasion. We put up a Christmas tree during the holidays. We eat a turkey for Thanksgiving. We watch fireworks for the fourth of July. Each of these actions are only done at special times and never all day, every day. We cannot treat self examination in the same manner. Even though in the Old Testament the High Priest made an atonement offering for the sins of the people once a year, it is important to realize that the individual sin was to be dealt with immediately. Setting aside a time for forgiveness does not say much about our caring relationship with Christ. We cannot approach Him with the desire to know Him and love Him when we treat Him carelessly about our sin. Just as when we offend someone deeply, we do not go up to them and greet them as if nothing happened when we know there is an offense between us. Typically in a religious sense, man feels the need to confess sin at a particular time, usually for Communion, which it is commanded so. However, the heart of the true believer in Christ is not religious, but related. Our relationship to Christ pushes us towards this examination willingly every day out of love not out of duty or occasion.

When sin is uncovered by the Holy Spirit in our lives, is our default mode like the disciples, saying, "Lord is it I?" "Does this sin have presence in me?" We should always keep this mindset of examination in front of us for the reason of our love for Christ and the desire to be more like Him.

The great thing about this examination is that no matter the diagnosis, the cure is always sure, plentiful and completely effective.

Father thank You that You do not condemn us in our sins. However Lord we must realize how valuable it is in our relationship with You to keep our sins in check. We fail so often, but thank You that You're forgiving, loving and kind. Help our hearts not to be so hard as to not acknowledge our sin before You. Help us rather to be tender of heart and desirous of Your Character always. In Your Name, Amen.